What I Learned Today: Love vs. Proper Love

It seems mainstream society indirectly (and falsely) teaches us at an early, naive age -- in many cases -- that love is the magic key which unlocks the fairy tale door to achieving a prosperous, fulfilling romantic relationship (i.e. through movies). Thus, we become enthralled with uncovering this key -- and when we find it, we must make sure we never lose it.

It isn't until we experience first-hand what it's like to (try to) develop and maintain this sort of relationship -- with hopes of falling in love -- that we realize there is so much more to a relationship than the feelings of falling in, being in and making love. Yet, even when we do experience it first-hand, we still put so much emphasis on being in love, in large part because -- as Freud (I think) correctly points out -- we are pleasure-seeking creatures. We don't fully comprehend how our actions (or inactions) affect our partner, or the relationship, because we are brainwashed into thinking love is all-conquering; nothing we do or say (or don't do and don't say) can ever defeat it.

Piers Morgan, the CNN talk show host, often asks his guests if they have ever been "properly in love." I never really understood, until now, why he prefixed "in love" with "properly." I initially assumed it was just another aspect of his multifaceted, ever-growing Englishman schtick.

But this is what I learned today: Just because two people are in love doesn't mean they have the wherewithal to develop and maintain a prosperous, fulfilling romantic relationship. So many -- dare I say too many? -- variables must synchronously align in order for two (proper) lovers to truly, effectively maximize their prosperity and fulfillment, and thus properly be in love. And sometimes, unfortunately, the unaligned variables are nearly impossible for two partners to naturally align because one too many variables are simply out of people's control, sometimes for the time being, other times forever.

Thus, being properly in love is the pinnacle of giving, taking and making love, because it almost perfectly combines the powerfully intoxicating emotions of love with the natural alignment of the vast assortment of variables.

Thanks for reading - Josh