“American Reunion” is just that – a good, old-fashioned reunion

Just like there are few reasons to attend a high school reunion if you didn’t go to that high school, you shouldn’t see “American Reunion” if you didn’t see the first three “American Pie” films. But if you did, you’re in for two hours of good times, several laughs and the familiar, refreshing “American Pie” shenanigans.

The R-rated “American Reunion,” directed and written by Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, reunites the original cast for a final hurrah; except now, the foursome of seniors – Jim, Kevin, Oz and Finch – are grown men, each leading responsible adult lives away from their hometown of East Grand Rapids, Michigan.

After tying the knot in the 2003 “American Wedding,” Jim and Michelle are parents with a two-year-old son, a development that is threatening their sex life and marring their marriage. They decide to return home for a weekend to get some “Jim and Michelle time” and attend their 13-year high school reunion. (The idea of a 13-year reunion is rather appropriate for this fourth and perhaps final film of the franchise.)

Kevin, now a married architect who works from home, is also back in town for the reunion. So too is the self-proclaimed world-travelling Finch, as well as Oz, a celebrity sportscaster living life large in Los Angeles. (You may remember Oz missed Jim’s wedding.)

They collectively decide to exclude Stifler from the reunion Facebook event because, by all accounts, he’s still the same obnoxious, sex-obsessed troublemaker who never moved away from home. Fatefully, the four guys run into him at a local bar they used to frequent, and with a few shots of liquor they’re back to the late-night high school hijinks that befitted them in the first two films.

As a result, Jim gets wedged between reliving his adolescence with his childhood buddies and trying to maintain a mature MO; caught in that limbo, his problems with Michelle are effectively put on the backburner, which further strains their marriage. Ironically, Jim’s issue in the original “American Pie” resurfaces: He can’t get laid.

Meanwhile, Kevin is (unintentionally) rekindling the teenage love affair with his high school girlfriend Vicky; Finch meets a female who just so happens to be his age; and Oz is regretfully realizing his fame and fortune – which includes a super model for a girlfriend – isn’t what he imagined his life would become back when he was a lacrosse star in high school. In short, their problems that once concerned getting laid and partying have now become question marks about fidelity, parenthood and careers.

Trying to recreate the old days, Stifler throws a pre-reunion party at his mom’s house, but he’s the only one who treats it as such. Jim and Michelle are preoccupied with their problems, and the other three guys are searching for answers of their own. By the end of the party, everyone’s conflicts have escalated to new highs, and one of the guys gets arrested.

Finally, the much-anticipated East Great Falls reunion rolls around, albeit with somewhat of a damper from the night before. The guys reconvene with the hopes of ending the weekend on the right foot, but they quickly realize Stifler is a no-show. In the end it works out for the gang, as it always did throughout the other films.

All in all, the filmmakers do a great job of incorporating almost every “American Pie” character from the previous three films; when and how they appear in this latest version is equally entertaining.

But more than anything, “American Reunion” accomplishes what other sequels ineffectively did: It recreates the essence of the original “American Pie,” while modifying the storyline to manufacture a worthwhile movie-going experience for fans of the franchise.

Magic and Obama: A Similar Story

There is no question the purchase of the Dodgers by Magic Johnson's group is Awesome (with a purposeful capital "A") for L.A. sports. Especially when the announcement comes on the heals of L.A.'s (former?) beloved team potentially approaching basketball Armageddon after Lakers head coach Mike Brown benched his two best players in consecutive games.

There is nothing more that I or anyone else can say about Magic's achievements and attractions. If I believed that God is our creator, the (God-given?) character of the Magic Man would be reason number one.

What makes this purchase even more magical, is how much Dodgers fans love him versus how much they loathe his predecessor. The extremes are astounding. In fact, Magic Johnson succeeding Frank McCourt is a lot like President Obama succeeding President Bush. Which is exactly why we should be skeptical about how much weight we put on this purchase.

When President Obama won the 2008 election, many Americans regarded him as the savior the U.S. painstakingly needed after eight tumultuous years of President Bush's regime running the country (into the ground). Almost four years later, many of President Obama's promises -- while they may have been made with the utmost authenticity -- have proven to be short-lived, at least in part because of the catastrophic mess he inherited.

The same can be said about Magic's inheritance. Just as President Obama has struggled to transcend a second-rate country back into a world leader, Magic will presumably have his fair share of strife as he attempts to deliver the Dodgers' first World Series ring since 1988. Like President Obama's arduous tasks of reviving the U.S. from its economic and real estate heart attacks, Magic will have to dig the Dodgers out a two-decade long hole before he can begin to build a championship-calibur team that is -- to pull a quote from President Obama -- "built to last."

What's more, while Magic's mere association with the Dodgers immediately replenishes the organization with a certain level of respect, ultimately he is the Dodgers' figurehead, limited in his influence and subject to the demands of his (financial) backers. The same applies to President Obama -- his administration has restored some good, but at day's end he is constrained by the balance of powers and by his (political) backers.

If Obama's tenure as POTUS lends us any foresight, don't expect Magic to hit a homerun with one swing of the bat.

What makes someone an American?

Channel your inner student and answer the question: What makes someone an American?

Is it (a) someone who takes their cap off, puts their right hand over their heart and belts the National Anthem at an American sporting event?

Is it (b) someone who "proudly" hangs the American flag from their house, or vehicle?

Is it (c) someone who unconditionally defends the U.S. Constitution?

Or, is it (d) all of the above?

Actually, it's (e) none of the above.

Just because you engage in any or all of the above activities makes you nothing more than an individual who lives in the United States of America. But it doesn't make you an American.

Being an American, rather, is about promoting fundamental justice and freedom for all. It's about taking from this country only as much as you give back to it. It's about taking advantage of collaborating with fellow Americans to achieve the nation's goals, instead of simply taking advantage of other Americans in order to achieve your own goals -- like indubitably meeting the so-called bottom line.

In the capitalistic cathedral known as the (good ole) U-S-of-A, jobs are shipped overseas to maximize profits and minimize domestic job growth. The working class citizens -- who make up the economic backbone of this country -- are slaves of the ruling class, whipped by incessant propaganda that equates wealth to happiness and poverty to a modern-day, self-imposed lynching.

Well here's the (non-financial) bottom line: If we want to continue to move "forward" as individuals who merely live in this land mass we call the United States of America, rather than embody what it truly means to be an American, Chinese history teachers will one day ask their students, "What is one way to describe the United States of America?"

One of the correct answers will be: the Roman Empire 2.0.

Kobeism: A New Religion

If Joseph Smith can create a religion that supposedly spawned from an angel who apparently directed him to a buried book of golden plates inscribed with a Christian history of ancient American civilizations, which he later published as the Book of Mormon, which in turn became the pretext for the Church of Christ (today known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints), then I can propose the advent of a new religion. And that is precisely what I'm here to do.

This new religion is called Kobeism, and it is named after and founded upon Kobe Bean Bryant, who you may know is a five-time NBA champion and eventual Basketball Hall-of-Famer, currently playing in his 16th NBA season, all of which have come for the Los Angeles Lakers.

Kobeism is far different than other mainstream religions. Kobeism does not have a distinguished place of worship, nor does it have any biblical scriptures from which people can derive its instructions. It also opposes affiliation with any political parties or special interest groups.

Rather, Kobeism simply suggests each of its followers do their individual best to maximize the following 24 (his jersey number) hours per day (as opposed to when it's convenient, like worshippers of other religions tend to exhibit):

1) Continuously strive for improvement and ultimately for perfection.

2) Combine your inherent potential with a diligent and perpetual work ethic, preparation and determination.

3) Lead by example.

4) Understand the demands of your surroundings and do what you can to adapt and evolve accordingly.

5) Use adversity as a means of motivation.

6) Develop a wide-ranging repertoire of talents so you cannot be easily defeated.

7) Never be content with your successes.

8) Don't back down from a challenge.

9) Perfect the fundamentals.

10) Stay true to yourself.

Of course, Kobeism may not be for everyone, but at the very least do know that it won't ridicule anyone for using contraceptives, getting an abortion or marrying someone of the same sex.

Thanks for reading - Josh

"The Most Interesting Facebook Friend in the World"

There are genius advertising campaigns, and then there is "The Most Interesting Man in the World" Dos Equis phenomenon. I mean, seriously, these commercials make many Super Bowl ads look like they should have aired at 3 am on a Sunday morning.

Of course, we will never be able to create a parody that would do justice to this advertising campaign, but if there was such thing as "The Most Interesting Facebook Friend in the World," here's how I would imagine him to be:

1) He was Mark Zuckerberg's first Facebook friend.

2) His relationships with women are official before they become Facebook official.

3) His profile has its own server (and backup server) at Facebook's headquarters because he kept shutting down the site from the inordinate amount of likes and comments his posts were generating.

4) His account includes a "don't like" button.

5) When he created his account, his "Profile Pictures" album was automatically named "I Know I Look Good."

6) When he instant messages a girl -- which he rarely does because they almost always initiate the conversation -- they never ignore him by signing off or pretending to "not be by their computer."

7) He has the Facebook app on his cell phone. And he doesn't have a smart phone.

8) He was the first, second and third choice to play Mark Zuckerberg in "The Social Network," but he decided to forgo the role because he thought it would be selfish to not only shatter the all-time records for box office, DVD, Blu-ray and on-demand sales, but also completely put them out of reach.

9) Business owners grant him free lifetime purchases just so he will "check in" at their venues.

10) He has to set aside two hours everyday just to go through his notifications.

11) He almost never initiates a friend request, but in the extremely rare instance that he does, the request is automatically confirmed without the recipient's approval or denial.

12) He has never been unfriended.

13) When it's his birthday, the Dalai Lama, President Obama and the Pope write on his wall.

14) When he searches for someone -- again, an extremely rare instance -- they always show up under the search results, even if that person is unsearchable according to their privacy settings.

He is "The Most Interesting Facebook Friend in the World."

Thanks for reading - Josh

What I Learned Today: Timing Is Everything

Many a time, when we hear cliches, we laugh or shrug or eye-roll them off because they're, well, cliche. They're unoriginal and overused; they bore us. As Freud points out, humans are pleasure-seeking creatures -- and there is nothing pleasurable about boredom.

Cliches, however, are often true. Perhaps that's another reason we don't allow them to resonate with us; all cliches aside, the truth (sometimes) hurts. We may seek the truth part of the time, but because we seek (what we perceive to be) pleasure all of the time, we often brainwash ourselves; in other words, we minimize our knowledge of the truth in order to maximize our feelings of pleasure. After all, ignorance is bliss, right?

This is what I learned today: We cannot simply ignore cliches, nor write them off. Instead, we must accept cliches as present-day criterion, like this one: Timing is everything.

Take New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, for example. Here's a guy who has all the tricks to the presidential trade. He's intelligent, informed, courageous and passionate. He combines his upper class goals with a middle class work ethic. He is true to his personal morals and political beliefs (which, regardless of whether or not your agree with him, is admirable when you consider the ever-changing, hyper-flipflopping that occurs in today's political arena). He commands the fundamental respect from those on both sides of the partisan aisle because he respects his opponents, but he is not afraid to be (respectfully) forthright if he disagrees with them. He compromises without compromising his values.

Relative to the two GOP presidential frontrunners, Christie is (consistently) more conservative than Mitt Romney, but not as conservative as Rick Santorum, who is effectively alienating both the moderate and independent bases. In other words, a Christie presidential campaign could captivate the masses of his party AND the overwhelming majority of moderates and independents. If he would have answered the Republican curtain call to run for president last fall, all indications are Christie could not only trump his contemporaries for the GOP nomination, but he could also be a formidable, electable opponent in the upcoming national election against President Obama. Quite simply, Christie fits today's presidential mold like the glass slipper fit Cinderella.

So why isn't he running for the U.S. presidency?

As Christie contemplated a presidential campaign some six months ago, he and his family came to this conclusion: The timing just isn't right.

Thanks for reading - Josh

What I Learned Today: Love vs. Proper Love

It seems mainstream society indirectly (and falsely) teaches us at an early, naive age -- in many cases -- that love is the magic key which unlocks the fairy tale door to achieving a prosperous, fulfilling romantic relationship (i.e. through movies). Thus, we become enthralled with uncovering this key -- and when we find it, we must make sure we never lose it.

It isn't until we experience first-hand what it's like to (try to) develop and maintain this sort of relationship -- with hopes of falling in love -- that we realize there is so much more to a relationship than the feelings of falling in, being in and making love. Yet, even when we do experience it first-hand, we still put so much emphasis on being in love, in large part because -- as Freud (I think) correctly points out -- we are pleasure-seeking creatures. We don't fully comprehend how our actions (or inactions) affect our partner, or the relationship, because we are brainwashed into thinking love is all-conquering; nothing we do or say (or don't do and don't say) can ever defeat it.

Piers Morgan, the CNN talk show host, often asks his guests if they have ever been "properly in love." I never really understood, until now, why he prefixed "in love" with "properly." I initially assumed it was just another aspect of his multifaceted, ever-growing Englishman schtick.

But this is what I learned today: Just because two people are in love doesn't mean they have the wherewithal to develop and maintain a prosperous, fulfilling romantic relationship. So many -- dare I say too many? -- variables must synchronously align in order for two (proper) lovers to truly, effectively maximize their prosperity and fulfillment, and thus properly be in love. And sometimes, unfortunately, the unaligned variables are nearly impossible for two partners to naturally align because one too many variables are simply out of people's control, sometimes for the time being, other times forever.

Thus, being properly in love is the pinnacle of giving, taking and making love, because it almost perfectly combines the powerfully intoxicating emotions of love with the natural alignment of the vast assortment of variables.

Thanks for reading - Josh