Magic and Obama: A Similar Story

There is no question the purchase of the Dodgers by Magic Johnson's group is Awesome (with a purposeful capital "A") for L.A. sports. Especially when the announcement comes on the heals of L.A.'s (former?) beloved team potentially approaching basketball Armageddon after Lakers head coach Mike Brown benched his two best players in consecutive games.

There is nothing more that I or anyone else can say about Magic's achievements and attractions. If I believed that God is our creator, the (God-given?) character of the Magic Man would be reason number one.

What makes this purchase even more magical, is how much Dodgers fans love him versus how much they loathe his predecessor. The extremes are astounding. In fact, Magic Johnson succeeding Frank McCourt is a lot like President Obama succeeding President Bush. Which is exactly why we should be skeptical about how much weight we put on this purchase.

When President Obama won the 2008 election, many Americans regarded him as the savior the U.S. painstakingly needed after eight tumultuous years of President Bush's regime running the country (into the ground). Almost four years later, many of President Obama's promises -- while they may have been made with the utmost authenticity -- have proven to be short-lived, at least in part because of the catastrophic mess he inherited.

The same can be said about Magic's inheritance. Just as President Obama has struggled to transcend a second-rate country back into a world leader, Magic will presumably have his fair share of strife as he attempts to deliver the Dodgers' first World Series ring since 1988. Like President Obama's arduous tasks of reviving the U.S. from its economic and real estate heart attacks, Magic will have to dig the Dodgers out a two-decade long hole before he can begin to build a championship-calibur team that is -- to pull a quote from President Obama -- "built to last."

What's more, while Magic's mere association with the Dodgers immediately replenishes the organization with a certain level of respect, ultimately he is the Dodgers' figurehead, limited in his influence and subject to the demands of his (financial) backers. The same applies to President Obama -- his administration has restored some good, but at day's end he is constrained by the balance of powers and by his (political) backers.

If Obama's tenure as POTUS lends us any foresight, don't expect Magic to hit a homerun with one swing of the bat.

What makes someone an American?

Channel your inner student and answer the question: What makes someone an American?

Is it (a) someone who takes their cap off, puts their right hand over their heart and belts the National Anthem at an American sporting event?

Is it (b) someone who "proudly" hangs the American flag from their house, or vehicle?

Is it (c) someone who unconditionally defends the U.S. Constitution?

Or, is it (d) all of the above?

Actually, it's (e) none of the above.

Just because you engage in any or all of the above activities makes you nothing more than an individual who lives in the United States of America. But it doesn't make you an American.

Being an American, rather, is about promoting fundamental justice and freedom for all. It's about taking from this country only as much as you give back to it. It's about taking advantage of collaborating with fellow Americans to achieve the nation's goals, instead of simply taking advantage of other Americans in order to achieve your own goals -- like indubitably meeting the so-called bottom line.

In the capitalistic cathedral known as the (good ole) U-S-of-A, jobs are shipped overseas to maximize profits and minimize domestic job growth. The working class citizens -- who make up the economic backbone of this country -- are slaves of the ruling class, whipped by incessant propaganda that equates wealth to happiness and poverty to a modern-day, self-imposed lynching.

Well here's the (non-financial) bottom line: If we want to continue to move "forward" as individuals who merely live in this land mass we call the United States of America, rather than embody what it truly means to be an American, Chinese history teachers will one day ask their students, "What is one way to describe the United States of America?"

One of the correct answers will be: the Roman Empire 2.0.

Kobeism: A New Religion

If Joseph Smith can create a religion that supposedly spawned from an angel who apparently directed him to a buried book of golden plates inscribed with a Christian history of ancient American civilizations, which he later published as the Book of Mormon, which in turn became the pretext for the Church of Christ (today known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints), then I can propose the advent of a new religion. And that is precisely what I'm here to do.

This new religion is called Kobeism, and it is named after and founded upon Kobe Bean Bryant, who you may know is a five-time NBA champion and eventual Basketball Hall-of-Famer, currently playing in his 16th NBA season, all of which have come for the Los Angeles Lakers.

Kobeism is far different than other mainstream religions. Kobeism does not have a distinguished place of worship, nor does it have any biblical scriptures from which people can derive its instructions. It also opposes affiliation with any political parties or special interest groups.

Rather, Kobeism simply suggests each of its followers do their individual best to maximize the following 24 (his jersey number) hours per day (as opposed to when it's convenient, like worshippers of other religions tend to exhibit):

1) Continuously strive for improvement and ultimately for perfection.

2) Combine your inherent potential with a diligent and perpetual work ethic, preparation and determination.

3) Lead by example.

4) Understand the demands of your surroundings and do what you can to adapt and evolve accordingly.

5) Use adversity as a means of motivation.

6) Develop a wide-ranging repertoire of talents so you cannot be easily defeated.

7) Never be content with your successes.

8) Don't back down from a challenge.

9) Perfect the fundamentals.

10) Stay true to yourself.

Of course, Kobeism may not be for everyone, but at the very least do know that it won't ridicule anyone for using contraceptives, getting an abortion or marrying someone of the same sex.

Thanks for reading - Josh